T x T = T. That is the three T’s of love. It’s basic math. Truth x Tolerance = Trust. Without trust, there can be no love. 10 x 10 = 100. Full trust. Deep love.
How much do you love your partner? Is he/she truthful with you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how truthful? Six? Seven? Nine? How tolerant is your partner of you – your habits and your way of doing things? Six? Seven? Four?
Measure the trust in your marriage…. 6 x 6? = 36. Not very high. 9 x 7? = 63. A long way from 100.
Truth and tolerance are in conflict with each other. The more truthful you are, the more likely you will attract intolerance! To protect ourselves from intolerance, we hide the truth. Slowly love dies as we realize deep down that our truth is not good enough in the eyes of our partner.
For most couples, tolerance is the love blocker. We judge each other – blame, criticize, snap, roll eyes. Intolerance shows up as a lack of respect. We don’t respect what we don’t want to tolerate. We judge the person. Then our partner snaps back at us about faults, or begins to hide their truth in order to protect themselves.
Wives hide what they purchase. Husbands hide lustful thoughts. Each gives one word answers to loaded questions. Why tell the full truth? You’ll only get judged for it!
Non-judgment is the answer. To have full trust and deep love, you must learn to be tolerant of your partner’s truth. This requires forgiveness of faults, sins and betrayals. When you forgive your partner, you are blessing yourself. Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” When we forgive, we are forgiven ourselves. When we are tolerant, we get truth. With truth, comes a deep love that you can both trust till death do you part.