If you’re a spiritual person, an inevitable day comes when you face the Great Divide. It always comes from someone who matters to you – your husband or wife, your close friend, your child or often your own parent.
They are depressed, addicted, angry or plain impossible. You’re done, fed up and you’ve had it. Either they clean up their act or you’re outa here.
That’s the moment that glares at you – the irrefutable evidence that you are on the wrong side of the Great Divide.
It’s wrong because you’re not coming from a place of love. Their pain has become your pain. You can’t stand the pain anymore – the cycle of repetitive arguments and discord. Something has to change. They have to change.
Oh, you deny that you want them to change. You just want them to get better. You just want them to do the right thing. I lied to myself like that for years. Just because you have the best of intentions – a deep desire to help them, love them, be there for them – doesn’t change the truth. You want them to change.
Stop. Breathe. Look in the mirror. Am I kidding myself? What’s my real agenda?
Your agenda is the same agenda we all have. We don’t want to change ourselves. We want things to be the way that suit us, not them. When you can admit that you need another person to change in order for you to feel happy and at peace with them, you’re ready to cross the Great Divide to the spiritual side of life.
This is the side where you neither pressure them to change, nor abandon them out of self-protection. This is the side where you love them exactly as they are. You have nothing to hide. They know where you stand. You have nothing to prove. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or they’re right. You have nothing to lose. Their failures are not a reflection on you. Their disaster is not your disaster.
You are separate and apart from them. You do what you need to do for you AND you love them anyway. Of course they need to grow up and take responsibility for their lives, their feelings and their situation. Show them the way. Do it yourself. What is God’s purpose for you in having this person and this pain in your life? Focus on that, not them.
When you love another person who is causing you pain by accepting them as they are, you heal a deep pain within yourself. You’re not being a doormat. You’re growing in love. That is your spiritual journey. It is everyone’s spiritual journey. When you do your part, God will look after their part. Fixing them isn’t your job. Now you will feel the peace that surpasses all understanding. Now you’re on the spiritual side of the Great Divide.