One of the most difficult times to get a result that you want is when someone you know well ignores you. You get no response to an email. No reply to a text. No returned phone call.

Many people including me, have felt frustration, anger and even anxiety at this kind of behaviour. It seems to be more common now as the communication lines are flooded compared to ten years ago. The pain gets dialed up when you bump into this person somewhere and they avoid you. If they do see you, they make a weak attempt to communicate.

Getting ignored often triggers self-doubt and inner conflict. You wonder if you offended them, replaying past interactions with them like a videotape in your head. Perhaps you eventually decide you haven’t done anything offensive. Then you start feeling critical of them for their behaviour. It feels impolite, rude and even mean to be on the receiving end of this kind of shutting you out. All of it leads to replaying the past or role-playing the future in your already over-busy mind!

To be at your best when this trial comes your way, you need to do a couple of things. One is to stay present! Remind yourself to not ASSUME anything. What facts do you really know? More often than not, you’ll find out later that the person is having their own crisis. Perhaps they do not wish to share it with you. Many people lack the assertive skills or the courage to just politely state where they’re at.

Secondly, ask yourself why the situation bothers you? Don’t kid yourself either. If you drill down honestly, you are likely to find that being rejected by people triggers a fear within you. That’s normal and understandable. This is where having a faith life comes in. God loves you. Jesus loves you. Hopefully your mother loves you too! I also view these situations as a time to love yourself a little more. Finally, as always, first get neutral about the situation. In your weakness, God will open your eyes to see clearly what you need to do. Then you will find peace about the relationship, no matter what action you take or do not take.

Princess Di learned late in her life this wise phrase: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” Feeling good about yourself comes from within, while fear comes from “out there.” You’ll know you’ve got it when you return to being centered and present. Then you’ll be at your best even if they really are snubbing you!

Have a peace-filled day!

:-) John